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10 More Foods I Bought at the 99¢ Only Store With Delightfully Anachronistic Package Design That I Need You To Be Aware Of
This Ruby Kist Fruit Punch looks like it’s from…the early 1990s.
Proof of Its Modernity: “0g TRANS FAT” on side of bottle.
Where You’d Expect to See It: Mocked by any of the myriad of unfunny non-celebrities on “I Love the 90s.”
Buy It Because: Packed with a full daily allowance of high fructose corn syrup, it goes great with those vanilla wafers up there. And you get 64 ounces for just 99¢ only!
• Oh, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, “Ted, you’re really pushing it with including this largely contemporary-looking bottle of juice in this otherwise brilliant and well-realized piece.” I beg to differ! Nothing about this piece is brilliant or well-realized. And have you looked at fruit juice bottle labels today? These days they’re all about realistically rendered fruit caught in a tidal wave of liquid splashing all over the place. What do we have here? Let’s click number 8 down there and see!
Ted Parsnips
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