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Feeling Appreciated, Again!
Hey, guess what! Oh, you know! It’s here again!
Yes, it’s another Member Appreciation Day at my gym!
And the best part of Member Appreciation Day, is of course the…
…complimentary fitness assessments!
It’s such a nice change of pace from the insulting fitness assessments they usually hammer me with: “Hey fat ass, you’re going to break the treadmill!” and “You’ll never lift that with those Grover-from-Sesame-Street arms!” and “Now finish off with five minutes on the bike. We’ll have the EMTs on standby.”
But on “Member Appreciation Day,” they say things like, “Lookin’ good, there, Slim!” and “Keep it up, big guy!” Makes a fella feel good about his own self, it does!
Though not as good as a few plates of deep-fried crab rangoons from the all-you-can-eat chinese buffet on the corner makes you feel. I think you’ll know where you can find me.
Ted Parsnips
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