What’s Bueno? Honey Maid Low Fat Cinnamon Grahams!

SAY! I wandered into the ol’ 99¢ Only Store the other day and guess what I ran into!  Guess!

No! Wrong!

I ran into a great big display, an endcap, to use retail parlance, of Nabisco Honey Maid Grahams! Banged my ankle up pretty bad, too! I plan on suing the store! What are they doing putting an enormous endcap where I’m liable to run into it?! No, I’m joking. I’ll find something else to sue them about.

Anyway, back to the grahams! You’re already pooh-poohing these things because they’re low fat.

Yes, they’re “low fat,” but let’s face it, Tubby, you could stand to lose a few! And here I elbow you good-naturedly in the gut!

First of all, your regular Honey Maid cinnamon grahams aren’t exactly oozing with fat to begin with! 5% is all! The low-fat ones?  3%! Christ, why even bother, right? But with so little fat (and no saturated fat in these babies!) Honey Maid Low Fat Cinnamon Grahams are a food you can feel good about eating! Or, if you’re Alicia Silverstone, a food you can feel good about chewing, and your baby can feel good about eating!

Regardless, these are the good type of graham crackers! With the cinnamon and the sugar besprinkled atop each one, giving it a good, textured tooth as we say in the graham cracker game! Oh, don’t worry, pal – these aren’t those grahamscaped, metrosnackual, smooth-topped graham crackers! These are your hardy 45-grit graham crackers! (The lower the number, the coarser the grit! But you’d know that if you hadn’t cut class so much in eighth grade when budget cuts forced Central Junior High to combine Woodshop and Home Ec!)

What’s even more amazing than the fact that you get 14.4 ounces of these things for a buck is that these Nabisco Honey Maid Low Fat Cinnamon Grahams are not only

but, in a rare instance of reaching across the aisle, of putting aside their differences for the greater good, they’re also

And with all the hostility among the major players in today’s dollar store landscape, you’ll agree this is a breath of fresh air. (Or, if you’re Alicia Silverstone’s child, a mouthful of chewed-up graham cracker paste.)

Posted by Ted on March 30, 2012, 3:11 AM.