Excitement At Canoga Park High School!

YESTERDAY morning was a scary one for the future Nobel Prize winners over there at Canoga Park High School – through a variety of sources I’ve been able to piece together the story:

Some dumbass was across the street at Taco Bell acting suspiciously.

Perhaps – and this is merely conjecture on my part – he ordered a regular taco as opposed to one of those new Cool Ranch Dorito dealies that are all the rage. This, you’ll agree, would have raised eyebrows.

School security was alerted, they confronted said moron – who apparently had a gun! He then fled across Topanga Canyon Boulevard (No easy feat! Four lanes of busy, busy traffic and no one knows how to drive around here!) and onto the school grounds…which was then put on lockdown for the next three hours.

Thankfully, the suspect dropped the gun (and presumably the taco if indeed he was eating one – again, just a theory from this armchair detective) but it was quite some time before the police actually found him.

No further information – who? why? which type of hot sauce? – seems to be available, and frankly, if it’s a story involving a nutjob with a gun at a school that ends this way, that’s great. I don’t really need any further information; the cops nailed the bastard and most importantly, no one was hurt.

So in that respect – potential tragedy averted – yes, it was a ‘great day’ for Canoga Park High School.

Still, they…eh…they might want to rethink that mascot.

Posted by Ted on May 3, 2013, 3:57 AM.