The Club!

IS protecting your car against theft worth $7.99 to you?

Of course it is, and Goodwill’s got just the thing to keep your car safe and secure!

It’s an old model of The Club – or possibly a knockoff by another company. Hard to tell. Seems thinner than the version available today, and it doesn’t have “THE CLUB” in big block lettering on its side so who can say for sure? But it’s good and strong and will deter all but the most determined car thieves!

…That is, it would, if you could actually unlock it and put it on your steering wheel. And then lock it. And then unlock it again, when you wanted to drive your car.

But you can’t do any of that because Goodwill, in its infinite wisdom, is offering said Club – yes, you guessed it! – with no key!

“Come on now, Ted,” I hear you saying, “Let’s be fair! How much could a key, just a simple key, cost?!”

I’m glad you asked. If this is an actual Club, they do make replacements! And for only three dollars plus postage!

…Provided that you have at least one original key left, which you obviously don’t! You, friend, are outta luck!

So instead of blowing nearly eight bucks on a completely useless, unlockable and un-unlockable Club, why not just spend a few extra bucks for a real anti-theft system?

Just two shelves up and to the left, you’ll find these. Arrange them on your dashboard, brother, and I guarantee no one’ll go near your car!

Posted by Ted on February 2, 2012, 3:25 AM.