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This Just In!
This guy took a selfie!
In other news, there was a mass-stabbing at a Pennsylvania school, and this guy was stabbed or something, but forget all that! Borrrrrrrrring, right?
Headline story on Google News?
Yes – this guy took a selfie!
Like you, I love 21st century journalism. (Though I do apologize to journalists of the past for using the word “journalism” there.)
And by the way, if this guy did anything heroic, saved anyone else from getting stabbed, etc., then, seriously: good for him. I’m not diminishing his possibly heroic deeds. (Although at this point the news stories are all incredibly vague. In the 21st century, we can’t wait for corroboration or fact-checking! No time for that! No sir, no how!)
I’m just all jazzed, as all thoughtful Americans are, that this guy took a selfie. Thanks Google News and USA Today. We’re – all of us – a little more intelligent, a little more well-informed, thanks to you!
Ted Parsnips
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